Guilt Free Carbon Credit

For $1000.00 I will grant you 1 carbon credit with an absolution of all guilt for breathing , flatulence, and any other carbon dioxide emitting malady you can imagine.

Ten percent of each guilt free allocation will be granted to Al Gore and his associates for the blatant hypocrisy employed while they promote the false religion called Global Warming.

Should there be a moron, sufficiently idiotic , to actually pay me one thousand dollars, the proceeds will be sent to the American Salvation Army.