1. Cast not pearls before swine.
a. Don't waste your time with idiots
b. Don't over value BS.
c. Don't beat a dead horse.
d. Don't hassle the small stuff.
2. Murphy's Laws
a. Foundational cornerstone to the development of the universe and
b. Murphy is a bureaucrat See 10a.
c. Murphy is not related to Kilroy.
a. One who serves two masters serves only until the duplicity is
discovered - then the one serves none.
4. Sucking Up
a. If you keep your nose stuck to someone else's backside, the probabilities
of having a poor substance adorning your face goes up in direct proportion
to the length of time plus the depth of the endeavor. In mathematical terms
this would equate to sht=face + depth allowing for a proportionality factor
of 1 and further allowing that force and velocity are null in the equation
as it is undesirable to determine the the value of these elements.
5. Dog Kisses
a. That's the same tongue he uses to lick his backside.
6. Spousal Kisses
a. That's the same mouth she used to..........
b. That's the same mouth he used to...........
a. Take all the hugs and kisses while you can - when they hit 16
they'll despise you anyway unless there is a set of car keys in the equation
and then you're only as good as their last drive.
a. Don't require insurance for under aged drivers. They aren't allowed
a. Best avoided (unless you get to be king).
a. The reason flush toilets were invented.
11. Marriage Counselors
a. Ten easy ways to get a divorce versus five hard ways.
12. Credit Cards
a. No one gets a 30 day heads up to rapture so - keep paying da bill.
13. Bank Loans
a. Availability determined by the lack of need.
a. 'God' placed a 10% limitation on interest however, American banks
aren't borrowing their money from God
anymore so 19.5% is required so the government (you) don't have to pay for the banking failures.
b. 'God' is still around.
15. Credit Reports
a. There was life before TRW.
b. There will be life after TRW.
16. End of The World
a. Does the world end if the planetary prince closes his eyes?
b. Let's find out.
a. The Jews made it a religion.
b. The Irish made it an art form.
Moral = Don't whine unless you can do it to verse with music.
18. The Sun
a. God , "Did I pay the Department of Water and Power bill this month
b. "What are the reconnection fees?"
19. Dss, Cable and Direct T.V.
a. 500 channels and there's not a good thing to watch.
b. That I haven't seen three times already.
20. Country Music
a. The hit single for the year 2010 will be, "I don't like sleeping
in the wet spot".
b. "Hal, Open the Pod Bay Door".
21. The Devil Made Me Do It!
a. Devil, "No I didn't".
a. Poison Oak has a small leaf and is not suitable for wiping.
b. Not a good idea to pee upstream from your drinking water.
c. The government has not yet allocated a budget for heating streams to a comfortable temperature.
d. Skinny dipping in 3 inches of water doesn't work.
a. Bend over, grab their ankles and pucker up when they are about
b. The same maneuver employed by the U.S. House of Representatives.
24. Those who preach at you do so because:
a. They lack the ability the talk 'with you'.
b. They are unsure in the correctness of their own faith and beliefs they feel that saying the same 'holy' thing to
you 50 times in a row will make them believe.
c. They don't have anything else to say except by rote repetitions.
d. They think they're buying an insurance policy for judgement.
e. They assume they know better and you don't.
f. They assume they are closer to God and you aren't.
g. They assume they're smart and you aren't.
h. They lack the ability to consider they might be wrong. This would force self examination and how can one be found flawed while, at the same one assuming, 'holiness'.
i. They get paid for it.
j. They have nothing better to do.
k. They don't mind boring you or offending you with their assumed holiness.
25. Being Right:
a. Is almost as good as sex.
26. Being Wrong:
a. There will always be those who will dedicate themselves to trying
prove you are wrong so they can 'feel'
right. The feeling being of greater value than the reality.
b. One example rarely a reality makes.
27. Teaching The Word
a. Teachers are anointed by either The Father or The Son.
b. The anointed are always given the ability to produce proof of their appointment.
c. The Apostles performed 'miracles' as their proofs.
d. Those who purport to teach without benefit of proofs to their appointment are blasphemers, presumptuous and arrogant.
e. Those who purport to 'know' the mind of Father or Son and lack proving to their dialogues fall under the definitions of 'd'.
f. Those who minister to the needs of congregations using the word as it is known as a vehicle for inspiration are 'ministers' not 'teachers' and their good works progress far beyond just talk.
g. Those who know the word based on first hand interaction with Father or Son and repeat their knowing, are 'truthsayers'. The truthsayer will always be able to produce tangible or logical proofs to their knowledge.
h. Those who purport to perform miracles as part of a religious 'stage act', are frauds and blasphemers and are operative under Corollary #1. They will not be well judged.
i. Those who use the word to deceive and for their own self aggrandizement will face me.
j. I am not known for generosity towards hypocrites or blasphemers.
28. The Grand Canyon
a. Took millions of years to carve.
b. It was a government job.
29. Dimensional Communications
a. Schizophrenia for fun and profit.
b. Drooling allowed only an Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
c. There are places for people who think they do this.
d. Ten easy ways to find the 'mad pad'.
e. Three tickets for the "Disoriented Express". One for you and two for 'them'.
f. Provides new definition for the term 'flame out'.
g. Be careful what you ask for.
h. Beware faceless voices.
a. If people are looking at you - you're probably not paranoid.
31. Those who would be king:
a. Can never succeed unless they have a knowledge of the heart of
man and the perfection of order found in the soul of chaos.
b. The time for the acquisition of this experience is over.
32. Those who abuse power
a. Will ultimately feel the sting of their own whip.
a. Is where you find it.
b. Is not a variable.
a. Will always be tied to the truth it offends.
35. Help Wanted - Experience Required
a. How do I get the experience if you won't give me the job?
a. No book, or second hand mechanism, will ever supply the knowledge
learned from actually doing the job.
b. Schools that teach from book theory without a requirement the teacher have actual experience in the subject
is defined under Corollary #1.
a. No one ever got anywhere having low expectations.
a. No one ever got anywhere lacking the motivation to do so.
a. Ninety percent of the time, things are exactly what they appear
b. Wisdom arrives when one makes allowance for the remaining ten percent.
c. People who make judgements based solely on appearance frequently make poor evaluations.
a. Exploit opportunities.
b. Not People.
41. Good Judgement produces:
a. The opportunity for a greater knowing of the Almighty.
b. Better living circumstances.
c. Better work circumstances.
d. The ability to progress at the rate you desire and the freedom to explore your potentials.
f. Things that are currently beyond even your dreams or imagination.
42. Poor Judgement produces:
a. Soul Death.
b. Permanent extinction.
a. Both forms of judgement are a choice made by the individual.
44. The Soul
a. Is an actual piece of Father's being.
b. It is the utility of this gift that grants us immortality.
c. Learning to use the abilities inherent in the soul is a lifetime endeavor.
45. Selling One's Soul
a. You can't. It is not yours to sell.
46. Abrogating One's Freewill #1
a. Often viewed as selling one's soul.
b. Voluntary alignment with any soul bearing individual of celestial origin who has the ability to permanently attach to your soul.
c. Results in the loss of all freewill.
d. Results in the loss of one's soul at judgement. See #42.
e. Attached soul's are always poorly judged.
47. Abrogating Ones' Freewill #2
a. Voluntary alignment with any non soul bearing individual of celestial
origin with the ability to separate the attachments between the soul and
b. Results in the loss of one's soul at judgement. See #42.
c. Results in the loss of all freewill
48. Mark Of The Beast
a. A device that can sever the connection between the soul and the
b. Used exclusively by non soul bearing species.
c. Leaves a burn mark from its electrodes in the pattern of a 666.
d. Can only be used on a willing subject.
49. Offerings For Your Soul
a. Beware of anyone who promises to solve your problems in return
b. Beware of anyone who caters to your needs, wishes or ego under the delusion of 'service' to the Almighty.
c. Beware those of 'b' who make offerings without benefit of proofs of heavenly anointment.
d. Do not mistake technology for miracles.
e. Do not mistake being of celestial origin as an imprimatur for 'holiness'.
f. If it looks too good to be true - it usually is.
g. Beware of those who will tell you that you are 'important'
50. Father's Messengers
a. Will always arrive dressed in common clothes.
b. They will not be pretentious in appearance or demeanor.
c. They will be clear in what they say.
d. They will offer truth - not 'mysteries'.
e. They will always have proofs with them.
f. They will not 'perform' tricks on demand but will always operate under the dictates of the logic of purpose.
g. Said logic is always identifiable and knowable.
h. Will walk amongst you without fear.
a. Being born dumb is the result of a genetic flaw.
b. Being stupid is a choice.
52. Calls To Service
a. Those called to service will always be approached within the rules
and dictates of the reality common to their existence.
b. The expectations of that service are 'usually' delivered in the course of a journey.
c. The exceptions to 'b' are rare but, on occasion, an individual will be advised of the end result of their service
in advance. This is particularly true when the service requires great personal sacrifice.
d. The greater the personality, the greater the demands and burden placed upon it.
e. Those called to service are not issued burdens that exceed their abilities.
f. Service and the journey always brings its own rewards.
53. Those Not Called To Service
a. One can never 'assume' they've been called.
b. If the elements of #41 through #52 are not adhered to, any assumption is little more than a delusion.
c. It's okay to be an average human being.
d. This is not a race or a competition.
54. Those Who Have Sold Their Souls To Celestials
a. Bear no obvious or outer marking of their dealings.
b. Have an obvious change in demeanor and personality with an emphasis towards arrogance.
c. Are sure they have properly aligned themselves for their own futures and aggrandizements.
d. Will wear a hardness visible in their eyes.
e. When you see such an individual you are seeing the one attached.
f. The eyes ARE the windows to the soul.
g. Behavioral mannerisms change to be more 'universal' (i.e.: constipated) than before the attachment.
h. Usage of words alters to the inclusion of 'universal' dialogue where it was absent before.
i. Intolerance of belief, attitude and demeanor, is a typical standard regardless of the verbiage offered to
cover it. Again evidencing a change in the 'before and after' personality.
j. The average person is not equipped to judge the existence of such an attachment.
55. Those Who Have Sold Their Souls to Non Soul Bearing Celestials
a. Those with the Mark of the Beast will bear the burn mark of 666,
in a circular pattern, on their hand
or on their temples.
b. Those so marked will lose all pigmentation to the coloring of their eyes and the totality of the eye will appear white.
c. Will lose the ability to indulge the higher emotions of love, tolerance, compassion and empathy.
d. Serve the group to whom they sold out their free will.
e. Can never be trusted.
f. Lose all moral restraint.
g. Little better than walking corpses.
a. Is not forever.
b. It is the timeline for the universe and, while very long, it is finite.
a. Is a place of your own creation.
b. Father condemns no one to Hell. One does it themselves.
c. Hell's can be created within life and outside of it. Thus one can create two Hells, one now and one later.
d. Personal Hells survive only to the end of a timeline.
e. Upon final judgement, when the poorly judged are to be dealt with, their Hell and their lives (souls) terminate at the same time.
f. Hell is a choice.
a. It's a long walk back from the Moon.
59. Illusion versus Delusion
a. Illusion is done to you.
b. Delusion is done by you.
60. Manipulation versus Facilitation.
a. Manipulation is done for the aggrandizement of the manipulator.
b. Facilitation is done for your benefit.
c. Manipulators frequently wear the clothing of the facilitator.
a. Arrives when you realize your covers have been pulled.
b. Arrives as the product of reasoned, logical, and skeptical thought.
c. Might arrive when all of your other contrivances have failed.
62. In God We Trust
a. Everyone else pays cash.
b. Everyone else is as good as their last act.
63. Faith versus Reality
a. Reality speaks for itself and stands on its own merit.
b. Faith without the reality is only a delusion.
c. Faith because of the reality is clear sightedness.
a. Dogs will accept human beings into their 'pack'.
b. Human beings rarely accept each other.
c. Dogs, clearly, know something human beings don't.
a. He who lives in truth will find it a warm and comfortable blanket.
b. He who does not will find it a scorpion delivering no comfort.
a. Successful relationships require that you give your mate all of
what they need and most of what they want.
b. Give more than you take.
c. The things that seem important in your 20's will seem ridiculous in your 40's.
a. I am woman - hear me feel.
b. Requires a disregard for the unique gifts God gave each gender.
68. Closed Minds
a. Lacks any ability to learn the new.
b. Sees only to the limit of the individual's own vision.
c. Dooms itself to a circuit of repetitious mediocrity.
a. Never gives up.
a. Can't afford to give up.
b. The absence of evil doing does not presuppose the presence of good.